Be the center...

A song that's been running through my head constantly all week is the song "Center" by Matt Redman. It's an extremely simple song, with a verse, bridge and chorus that repeat themselves throughout the whole song. But the main message of the song is for Christ to be the center of our lives. The speaker in chapel today talked about how we need to give every single part of our lives over to God. It's pretty typical of a chapel speaker to talk about stuff like that, and when he started talking at first I was tempted to brush everything he was saying aside, since I'd already heard it all before. Normally metaphors drive me nuts, because a lot of pastors use SUPER cheesy ones that for me, just distract from the point they're trying to make. But the speaker today used a metaphor that instantly caught my attention:

We need to yield our lives to God. Just like when we're driving a car, and we're 

told to yield. We put our foot on the brake and acknowledge the fact that we

don't have the right of the way. We need to do this same thing with our lives-

acknowledge the fact that we don't have "the right of way" in our lives...

God does.

For some reason, that hit me in the head like a 2 by 4. As much as I've tried to give up every single part of my life to God, there are still things that I just really want to have control over. I feel like God's been using the song "Center"to get that idea across to me. HE needs to be the center of my life. Not my schooling. Not my boyfriend. Not my future. But GOD and GOD alone. 

This semester has been an huge eye opener for me. I have the first healthy relationship that I've ever had with a guy, and it's been so encouraging. I have amazing friends in my life that are constantly building me up and loving me. I have a family that I've gotten so much closer with as I "grow up." Since being back from the Philippines, I've grown so much as a person and in my relationship with God. God's closed quite a few doors for me this year, but it's just taught me to trust him and to accept the fact that he has a plan that is bigger and better than I could have EVER imagined...and THAT is why he needs to be the center of my life.

Since I'm on a picture editing kick (since I haven't had time to do anything else photography related recently)...here's the lyrics to "Center." I hope they encourage you as much as they've encouraged me :)

Missing my kids today...

Some days are harder than others. Some days I only think about the Philippines when someone mentions it or asks me about it. Others, it's all I can think about. I have pictures of my kids all over my dorm room (literally), which usually doesn't get to me unless I spend time in my room...which I haven't been doing much of recently. But today, for some reason, my kids have been all I could think about.

I had a dream the other night about Alexandra. Alexandra was "my kid" in the Philippines, and I got so attached to her over the course of the 3 weeks. (If you go to the blog I kept while I was there, you can read all about her.) I don't remember much about my dream, but what I do remember was seeing her again. And she ran up to me (because she remembered me) and gave me a HUGE hug and a kiss, just like she always did. It felt so real, and when I woke up, it was hard for me to figure out whether or not it was a dream. When I did wake up though, I remember feeling SO thankful that God gave me a dream like that. I know I didn't really hug her in real life, but it was almost like God knew how much I missed her, and he was giving me a glimpse of that joy again. It's so hard to be away from them sometimes, and it's even harder to think about the fact that I'll never see them again. I'll never be able to check up on them or hear how they're doing. I'll never be able to send them cards or letters or pictures, and I'll never be able to talk to them on facebook or on the phone. The only thing that I can hope and pray for is that someday, I'll see them again in heaven. It sucks, and sometimes I hate it. But I just have to trust that God has them under control. Today I killed a good half hour editing pictures that I took of them. (I've also been missing photography lately like NOBODY'S business...so this is as close as I can get for a while.) Thought I'd share some of them.

"Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God." Luke 18:16

"He will defend the afflicted among the people and save the children of the needy; he will crush the oppressors." Psalm 72:4

"See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels always see the face of my Father who is in heaven." Matthew 18:10

"For he will deliver the needy who cry out; the afflicted who have no one to help. He will take pity on the weak & the needy & save the needy from death. He will rescue them from oppression & violence, for precious is their blood in his sight." Psalm 72:12-14

"Mahal Kita" - "I love you" in Tagalog

Ok, It's Alright With Me.

I'm sitting in my room (which has just been cleaned), listening to this great song by Erik Hutchinson. This song just makes me think about how great today has been, how great this week has been, and how GREAT God is. Today started out kind of so-so, with my 8:00 class...not my favorite. But then, I found out that one of the bands I tried out with for Nostalgia Night got in! (We'll be singing "Open Arms" by Journey. Good stuff.) Then, I had my weekly lunch with Travis, and then we watched Glee (he's pretty great, isn't he? :) ), followed by my group PA interview. I feel SO good about that interview, but I'm trying not to get my hopes up too high. I want to be a PA on 3CO so badly, but I can't get all psyched up about it. If I do, and I end up not getting PA, I know I'll be devastated. I'm just trying to trust that God has it all under control. If I'm supposed to be a PA on third center, he'll make it happen. If I'm supposed to be a PA on another wing, then he'll prepare me for that and make THAT happen. I just have to trust that he always always always knows what he's doing, even if I have absolutely no clue.

I decided to start up a blog just to help me process my life. When I was in the Philippines I blogged every day, and it was almost like journaling for me. It's so much easier for me to think through things if I write about them. Also, I love pictures and I love editing them, so I'm going to add a "verse of the day" at the end of each post. God's been doing some great things in my life and in my heart, and I can't wait to see where this semester goes. :)